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The 5 Most Delicious Breakup Foods to Drown Your Sorrows In

The 5 Most Delicious Breakup Foods to Drown Your Sorrows In

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Because something has got to make you feel better, right?

When we break up with someone, there are certain stages we all must follow.

1. First there is the drunken immediate hook-up.

2. Then there is the drunk-dialing.

3. Then, once our bodies have realized that no more good can come from a $7 plastic bottle of rum, we turn to food.

Yes food, something we have come to associate with the warmth of our mother’s bosom, the good company of friends around a table, and the ever so faint smell of meatloaf and cigarette smoke that reminds us of home. Is that just me?

OK then, moving on. Nothing will get you out of your bed and onto the couch watching I Love Lucy on WE TV faster than greasy buttery food, so let’s celebrate the finest comfort foods that are there when no one else is with this list of great comfort foods that’ll see you through any hard time.

The Most Delicious Arabic Dishes You Need to Try

Anthropologically, a region’s cuisine is as important in understanding its culture as its architecture, national dress, traditions and more. Therefore, trying Arabic cuisine is a crucial aspect of any visit to the Middle East. The food is plentiful with so many different, delicious options to appeal to every palette. Traditionally, these are sharing dishes, which is great news as it gives visitors the opportunity to order as many as possible and try a bit of everything.

Beaches & Cream Soda Shop

Breakups are often pretty sad, whether you’re the dumper or the dumped. So if you want to use food to help you cope with your emotions, we can’t think of a place better than Beaches & Cream Soda Shop!

Milkshakes — the perfect food for drowning your sorrows.

Here, you can drown your sorrows in milkshakes piled high with sweet treats and tater tots loaded with cheese and bacon. And if you want to share one last moment with your significant other, then the two of you can cry together over the Kitchen Sink — something to remember them by.

There’s nowhere else we’d rather be when we’re sad.

Foods That Cure a Broken Heart

We've all been there: On the living room couch, watching "Sleepless in Seattle," spoon repeatedly diving into a pint of Ben & Jerry's, wondering why our relationship didn't work out. So, it begs the question: Does comfort food such as ice cream really help us deal when a b.f. suddenly decides to call it quits?

While there aren't any legit studies that show that food definitively helps us deal, anecdotally, it's clear that most broken-hearted women have the instinct to binge.

"Post-breakup, foods that make you feel good are important," says registered dietician Stephanie Clarke, a contributing editor at SELF and co-founder of C&J Nutrition. "Instead of drowning your sorrows in foods that might pack in lots of extra calories and lead to weight gain (ice cream, chocolate, chips, etc.) -- which can make you feel worse in the long run -- opt for foods that make you feel energetic, svelte and ready to take on the day. Because when you are ready to mix and mingle again, you want to feel sensational."

Here are Clarke's picks for the best break-up foods that are packed with comfort, not calories:

The Comfort Food: Vegetable soup

Why She Loves It: "It's a warm and soothing way to fit in over a serving of veggies per bowl."

The Comfort Food: Homemade hot cocoa

Why She Loves It: "Stir a Dove dark chocolate Promise square into a mug of hot nonfat milk (or soy/almond milk) for a soothing chocolate fix that provides protein and calcium, too."

The Comfort Food: Turkey Chili

Why She Loves It: "Nothing says comfort food like chili, with its warmth and satisfying mixture of protein and fiber."

The Comfort Food: Yogurt, berry and oats parfait.

Why She Loves It: "Layer Greek yogurt with oats, berries and a drizzle of maple syrup to start the day without feeling weighed down."

The Comfort Food: Frozen grapes

Why She Loves It: "For those nights you feel like sitting in front of the TV and gorging a pint of ice cream, opt for a bowl of frozen grapes. You get the same sweet, cold combo, but without the regret in the morning."

How to you deal when a relationship comes to a screeching halt? Gorge yourself with sugar and fried food? Or go on a major health kick?

7 Healthier Versions Of Classic Peanut Butter Recipes

Who hates peanut butter? In my experience, people either like it, LOVE it, or can't eat it because they're allergic or have some other dietary restriction (poor souls). Count me in the peanut butter lovers camp &mdash as in, I have to practice serious self control to not eat it all day every day, and if there's chocolate involved? It's over.

And I don't see any reason to feel badly about my PB habit, either: Research shows that peanuts and tree nuts may offer protection against heart disease, and, despite their high fat and calorie counts, don't appear to cause weight gain. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean all things peanut butter will keep you slim and healthy. The all-American spread is often guilty by association, as it's featured in some of the most delicious (and caloric) desserts and treats around.

But no need to drown your sorrows (spoon in hand) in a jar of PB. With a few healthy ingredient swaps, you can upgrade all of your favorite peanut butter treats so they'll satisfy your cravings without the bloated belly or sugar crash. Check out these 10 Healthy Peanut Butter Recipes from some of our favorite books and bloggers:

Peanut Butter Cups With Dark Chocolate & Sea Salt from Yummy Supper

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies from Tone It Up
OK, if "cookie" popped in your head when I said "peanut butter," you're forgiven. There's nothing like a warm, chewy, moist peanut butter cookie to satisfy your sweet tooth, and this much-healthier version from Karena Dawn and Katrina Scott, authors of Tone It Up (available for pre-order) forgoes flour, butter, and refined sugar, for a super-simple grain-free treat that's packed with flavor and protein (oh, and dark chocolate chips, of course).

DIY Peanut Butter Chips from The Minimalist Baker
Those bags of peanut butter chips in the baking aisle? Yeah, you might as well just pour sugar packets into your mouth. The good news? It's super simple to make some yourself! This homemade version (which happens to be vegan) takes only four ingredients and one hour to throw together. Even better, you'll take in just 3.5 grams of sugar per 2-tablespoon serving&mdashmost commercial versions have four times that amount!

Healthy Peanut Butter Cup Smoothie from Fit Foodie Finds

Crunchy PB&G from The Family Cooks
A classic PB&J may seem like a balanced lunch choice, but if you opt for processed white bread and commercial jelly (which is typically loaded with unnecessary added sugar), it's more like dessert. Swap the bread for a whole-grain wrap and the jelly for whole fruit, however, and you have a much more satisfying meal in your hands.

Two-Ingredient Peanut Butter Ice Cream from Two Peas and Their Pod

Three-Ingredient Peanut Butter Fudge from Blissful Basil
Surprised that healthy fudge was even possible? We were, too. But this insanely simple recipe combines peanut butter, coconut butter, and just two tablespoons of maple syrup to make a rich, wholesome fudge that'll make you forget about the real thing.

The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World

Humans are like goats. We'll eat any damned thing. Just ask the people who make PowerBars.

In fact, you'll find foods in this world that don't even seem possible. Not just that they could exist, but that people would actually stick this stuff in their mouths without a gun to their head.

We've found six dishes that seemed to have sprung from Satan's own cookbook.

What the hell is it?
Escamoles are the eggs of the giant black Liometopum ant, which makes its home in the root systems of maguey and agave plants. Collecting the eggs is a uniquely unpleasant job, since the ants are highly venomous and have some kind of blood grudge against human orifices.

The eggs have the consistency of cottage cheese. The most popular way to eat them is in a taco with guacamole, while being fucking insane.

Wait, it gets worse .
Escamoles have a surprisingly pleasant taste: buttery and slightly nutty. This hugely increases the chances that, while in Mexico, you could eat them without realizing you are eating a taco full of fucking ant eggs.

Danger of this turning up in America:
We're not sure Taco Bell hasn't snuck this shit into their food already. Just make sure you know what' in that burrito. Ask at the counter if you have to. Also, watch those ads close because they'll try to dress it up in some kind of friendly-sounding, pseudo-Mexican name.


What the hell is it?
This, dear reader, is a medium-sized lump of Sweet Fucking Christ. Casu Marzu is a sheep' milk cheese that has been deliberately infested by a Piophila casei, the "cheese fly." The result is a maggot-ridden, weeping stink bomb in an advanced state of decomposition.

Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while eating. The taste is strong enough to burn the tongue, and the larvae themselves pass through the stomach undigested, sometimes surviving long enough to breed in the intestine, where they attempt to bore through the walls, causing vomiting and bloody diarrhea.

Wait, it gets worse .
This cheese is a delicacy in Sardinia, where it is illegal. That' right. It is illegal in the only place where people actually want to eat it. If this does not communicate a very clear message, perhaps the larvae will, as they leap desperately toward your face in an effort to escape the putrescent horror of the only home they have ever known. Even the cheese itself is ashamed when prodded, it weeps an odorous liquid called lagrima, Sardinian for "tears."

Danger of this turning up in America:
There is significant danger here, as we're thinking the cheese companies have a lot of maggot stock in the back of their warehouse they'd like to get rid of. And, there may actually be a market for it. Self-loathing is a powerful force in this economy (see the diet section of your local supermarket) and there' times you get low enough that, damn it, you feel like you deserve nothing better than infested cheese.


What the hell is it?
Ahhh, Lutefisk. After the larvae-ridden cheese, it's a blessed relief to sample a clean, down-to-earth Scandinavian recipe.

Lutefisk is a traditional Norwegian dish featuring cod that has been steeped for many days in a solution of lye, until its flesh is caustic enough to dissolve silver cutlery.

Wait, it gets worse .
For those of you who don't know, lye (potassium hydroxide/sodium hydroxide) is a powerful industrial chemical used for cleaning drains, killing plants, de-budding cow horns, powering batteries and manufacturing biodiesel. Contact with lye can cause chemical burns, permanent scarring, blindness or total deliciousness, depending on whether you pour it onto a herring or your own face. Or, so the lutefisk industry would have us believe.

Danger of this turning up in America:

It' true, lutefisk is more popular in the United States than in Norway. What the hell are they doing with it? They're not eating it are they? Is it because it' a cheap alternative to colonic irrigation? Seriously, how do you advertise this stuff?


What the hell is it?
What better to wash down your gelatinous lumps of lye fish than a nice chilled cup of dead mice? What better indeed.

Baby mice wine is a traditional Chinese and Korean "health tonic," which apparently tastes like raw gasoline. Little mice, eyes still closed, are plucked from the embrace of their loving mothers and stuffed (while still alive) into a bottle of rice wine. They are left to ferment while their parents wring their tiny mouse paws in despair, tears drooping sadly from the tips of their whiskers.

Wait, it gets worse .
Do you wince at the thought of swallowing a tequila worm? Imagine how you'd feel during a session on this bastard. Whoops, I swallowed a dead mouse! Whoops, there goes another one! Whoops, I just puked my entire body out of my nose!

Danger of this turning up in America:
Who are you going to find in America that' OK with drinking dead fetus juice as a way to improve their own health? OK, other than lawyers.


What the hell is it?
Of all the dishes, this is the one most likely to be mistaken for a threatening message from the mob. It' a sheep' head. Boiled.

Wait, it gets worse .
Pacha only reveals its terror gradually. Sure, maybe you can get around the fact that you're eating face. But, the more you eat it, the more bone is revealed, until you give a final burp and set your cutlery down beside a grinning ivory skull. Its hollow eye sockets stare back at you with a look of grim damnation. "Burp while ye may," the sockets say, "for the same fate will happen to you--and all too soon."

We wonder why the Iraqis keep blowing themselves up? Wouldn't you, if every evening meal was a festival of death?

Danger of this turning up in America:
Not looking like that, it won't. But, you tell people that sheep head contains some kind of enzyme that boosts your metabolism and .


What the hell is it?
Behold, for our journey of horror reaches its destination. Balut are duck eggs that have been incubated until the fetus is all feathery and beaky, and then boiled alive. The bones give the eggs a uniquely crunchy texture.

They are enjoyed in Cambodia, Philippines and the fifth and seventh levels of hell. They are typically sold by street vendors at night, out of buckets of warm sand. You can spot the vendors because of their glowing red eyes, and the faint, otherworldly sound of children screaming.

Wait, it gets worse .
. Because you're never going to look at an egg the same way. Tell yourself that every time you crack open an egg from now on you won't be half expecting a leathery wad of bird to come flopping out into the skillet.

Yes, balut is upsetting on about a half-dozen levels. Sure, all meat eaters know on some level that the delicious chop on your plate used to belong to something cute and fluffy, which gambolled in the sun during the brief spring of its life. Most of the time, it' perfectly possible not to give a shit. But, when you're biting into something that hasn't even had a chance to see its mother' face . well, it' different.

Danger of this turning up in America:
Actually, marketed properly, these eggs could be a damn good motivator. When you've looked death in the face at breakfast time, what the hell else can the day throw at you?

Artificial Sweeteners

Are you thinking – but what if I eat diet ice cream? Aspartame is evil…and especially more when you’re feeling depressed. This is because this all-too-commonly used artificial sweetener contains chemicals that break down in the blood stream to block the production of Serotonin, which is the body’s Feel Happy neurotransmitter.

As a result, you will fight with insomnia, get headaches and also feel a mood dip. Diet sodas, diet ice-creams and diet candy are all bad news for you.

The 5 Most Delicious Breakup Foods to Drown Your Sorrows In - Recipes

The proverbial phrase "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is usually used to encourage optimism and a positive can-do attitude when one faces adversity or misfortune.
But lemme just say that I wholeheartedly hate that phrase.
Why should I make lemonade with your stupid lemons life?
You want me to open a lemonade stand on the street selling lemonade 50¢ a cup. Nah, it's not an option — I’m not 0 years old anymore.
Maybe I can consider becoming a lemon magnate. I mean if the product cost is zero, I can retail lemons for a considerable profit. That’s business 101.
But it all depends on the amount of lemon you're giving me life.

But seriously, there are a million things one can do with lemons: muffins, a marinade for chicken or salmon, a dressing for salad, even a sauce for pasta.
Or you can make a treat that can almost fix anything, from a lost job to a broken heart.
I did say almost.
And I know it’s not wise to drown your sorrows with food, but somedays it takes something like a (No-Bake) Coconut Lemon Meltaway Ball to make you feel immediately better.
Good food puts you in a better mood.

These little guys are just too easy to make.
You basically put everything in a bowl, mix for a little, roll them into a ball shape and they are ready to eat in a matter of minutes.
Did I mention that they're raw, grain-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, refined sugar free, and even paleo-friendly?
But what matters most is that they are phenomenally delicious.
If you like coconut and lemon you need to make ‘em: you have no excuses!

(No-Bake) Coconut Lemon Meltaway Balls Print this recipe!
Adapted from AddictedToVeggies

Makes about 30 balls

1 ½ cups almond flour
⅓ cup coconut flour
Pinch of salt
6 tablespoons maple syrup or honey (if using honey pick one with a mild taste)
4 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Zest of one lemon
4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted

In a large bowl combine almond flour, coconut flour, and salt. Set aside.
In a separate bowl combine maple syrup (or honey), lemon juice, vanilla extract, and lemon zest.
Using an electric mix slowly add the wet ingredients until fully combined. With the mixer on, gradually add coconut oil until it is blended in (it will look like crumbles but should be soft enough that if you squeeze it with your fingers it should stick together.)
Lightly oil your hands, then scoop one heaping teaspoon of coconut mixture and roll it into a ball.
Repeat to make 30 small balls. Roll them in shredded coconut flakes if you feel like.
Place coconut balls onto a lined baking sheet and transfer to the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes, until firm.
Keep stored in the refrigerator.

One ball yields 65 calories, 5 grams of fat, 4 grams of carbs, and 1 gram of protein.

Smoothies are often simple, straightforward ways to enjoy a quick meal. They're great for taking on the go and are typically loaded with healthy ingredients. Generally made from fresh fruits and vegetables, smoothies are the perfect&mdashand perhaps most delicious&mdashmethod of getting your fill of energy-boosting proteins and healthy fats. We rounded up the 10 most popular smoothie recipes from our Pinterest boards to help make your mornings (or afternoon snacks!) easier.

There's a smoothie recipe here sure to delight anyone's tastebuds any time of the day. That's right: Smoothies aren't just for breakfast, although we do agree that they do make for delicious early morning meals. Still, they're great as a post-workout snack or an afternoon pick-me-up, especially when they're made from more than just a handful of fruit and ice. That's where these popular recipes come in: Our smoothies most frequently pinned on Pinterest feature a colorful medley of superfoods, including nuts, seeds, greens, and alternative milks for a healthy mix of nutrients.

Some of our most popular recipes include traditional strawberry and banana combinations, which are sure to delight even the pickiest of palates. Make them in the summer for a breakfast treat your kids will love&mdashjust be warned, you'll want to double the recipe and make one for yourself, too. And if you want something a little different, you'll be pleased to know that some of our most popular smoothie recipes also feature unique ingredients, like pumpkin, pomegranates, and coconut milk for mouthwatering flavor. Blend your way to better health with our 10 most-re-pinned smoothies from our Pinterest boards.

You Can Now Drown Your Sorrows in Vegan Unicorn Tears Wine

Spanish brand Gik Live! recently debuted vegan Unicorn Tears Wine, a pastel pink sparkling rosé colored only by organic compounds in the winemaking process. The husband-and-wife team behind the brand, Tere and Javi Corcuera, developed the modern take on wine&mdashwhich they joke is made from the naturally extracted tears of a unicorn that they keep in a secret location in Spain&mdashto depart from traditional wine formulations. The Instagram-friendly beverage follows the company&rsquos mission statement: &ldquoWe believe in the creative rebellion, we build new things, break with the past, and create our future.&rdquo In 2016, Gik debuted a rebellious bright-blue wine which is colored with compounds found in red-skinned grapes the company sources from the Spanish regions of La Rioja, Zaragoza, and Castilla-La Mancha.

Love the plant-based lifestyle as much as we do ?
Get the BEST vegan recipes , travel, celebrity interviews , product picks , and so much more inside every issue of VegNews Magazine . Find out why VegNews is the world&rsquos #1 plant-based magazine by subscribing today !

10 Things not to do after a breakup

In my new novel The First Husband, the protagonist Annie Adams is a travel writer whose life changes on a dime. Out of nowhere, her longtime boyfriend walks into the home they&rsquove been sharing for years and unceremoniously tells her he is leaving her. While a lot of women would take this opportunity to wallow in a big bowl of Ben & Jerry&rsquos, Annie makes a different decision. She walks into a bar, starts talking to an adorable chef named Griffin. And marries him.

Regardless of how this ultimately works out for Annie (no spoiler alert!), one could rightly say that walking into a bar and marrying the first man you talk to is a rash decision. Here are several other things that are wise to avoid after a breakup.

Don&rsquot listen to yourfemale best friend

This advice may sound counterintuitive, but it&rsquos still true. Your best friend is there to make you feel better. That is her job and she&rsquos good at it — which means she is probably not as good at giving you tough love when your heart is broken. So when she says, “call your ex if you need to” or “I&rsquom sure he is coming back to you,” what she really means is “I love you and I&rsquom here for you.” Listen to that part. But if you&rsquore looking for advice? Call your male best friend. He&rsquoll tell you how it actually is.

Don&rsquot contact your ex.Not for any reason.

Of course, you want your sweater back. And he shouldn&rsquot still have your keys. But in the tricky period after your ex becomes your ex, he should be removed from your phone. Later, after the wounds have healed, there will be time to get your things back. There will even be time to say the one thing you still want to say. But the good news is: If you wait until it&rsquos appropriate to reach out, you probably won&rsquot really want to anymore.

6 Things to do instead of texting your ex >>

Don&rsquot contact anyother ex either

We&rsquove all been there. Mike makes us feel terrible so we reach out to Matt, who made us feel terrible, but a long time ago now! It is so tempting to seek comfort in someone who knows us well. But the best thing to do after a breakup is move forward. Moving back — or way back — doesn&rsquot usually end well.

Basically, don&rsquot turn on your phone or emailbetween 10 p.m. – 7 a.m.

There is an application called Google Goggles. There is another that stops you from texting or calling during certain hours. They should be mandatory for all people after a breakup, particularly those people who like to drown their sorrows in a delicious glass of wine. (And really, who doesn’t?) Repeat five times fast: Texting is not your friend. Especially after midnight.

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